On love…
Discover more from Mat Venn
"There is always madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Intro
Love is AMAZING. It’s all around you. You feel it in your fingers, and in your toes. According to Marti Pellow, the feeling GROWS.
In 1994 the band Wet Wet Wet covered The Troggs ‘Love is all around’. They recorded this for the movie ‘Love Actually’. Yes THAT movie.
It spent 15 weeks at number one in the UK charts. That over 100 days. almost a third of a year.
Marti Pellows’ most powerful love affair was arguably with heroin. It almost killed him. Can love can be the same as addiction?
What is love?
Ok sorry, i’ll get on with it
Love IS all around
Fuck Love Actually. Honestly that movie ruined everything for me. Its a dreadfully wonderful, disturbing piece of emotional catnip.
“Actually’ there is not a single example of ‘Love’ in that movie. It’s just a bunch of flatpack furniture relationships waiting to be constructed into loving ones. It’s broken lego. Tread carefully. Ok I digress…
Seriously tho, what IS love?
Love is impossible to define. Why? its CHEMICAL.
The 3 chemical stages of love
Stage 1: Lust.
Testosterone and estrogen are both responsible for sex drive, attracting a mate, and projecting fertility.
Stage 2: Attraction.
Dopamine and Norepinephrine take over at this stage. Dopamine is the reward chemical, this is why you feel so lucky, Norepinephrine is making you alert and Adrenaline is why your heart beats faster, your cheeks are flushed, your palms are sweaty and you get butterflies
Stage 3: Attachment.
Oxytocin is the love hormone. Once this gets in the mix, oh boy you are so screwed.
You have absolutely no control over who you fall in love with. None. Nada.
And this is the only thing in your life you can sit back and accept with zero guilt, self-control or overthinking. Thats the best thing about love. Its out of your hands.
How do you know you are in love?
Well that is a question that is as old as 2003, the year the film ‘Love Actually’ was released at the cinemas.
The reality is that you never really know. But according to psychologists, there are a few signs:
Your thoughts return to them regularly
You feel safe with them
Life feels more exciting
You want to spend a lot of time together
You feel a little jealous of other people in their life
You feel compassion for them
Also you might want to video your best friends wedding, but just focus your attention on the beautiful bride, Juliet, your best mates wife, who you are obsessed with, and think you are in love with, then show up at their house with a set of procedural placards, professing your love, in arguably the worst way that a best friend could ever behave:
Love transcends even the best friendships. Ask any guy whats the main reason that a friendship failed and it’s always a woman. Its always hoes before bros
Falling in love
Falling in love is AMAZING. It’s also a terrifying descent into temporary madness, a profoundly discombobulating experience that can drive people to experience the extremes of their emotions.
Love IS all around. Wait… sorry I already did the bit about Marty Pellow. Ok well lets look at some examples of how love has changed the course of history:
Prince Edward and Wallis Simpson
These adorable lovebirds were the OG Harry and Meghan.
Edward, a dashing prince and heir to the throne of the United Kingdom. Wallis, an American socialite and double divorcée. His undying love for her and attempt to marry the love of his life caused a constitutional crisis that led to his abdication.
Imagine giving up everything for the love of your life? It’s just the most fucking impressive thing a person can ever do. Especially as she cheated on him with James Donahue. Poor Edward, putting the ‘Simp’ in ‘Simpson’.
Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor
If you want the most visceral example of a beautiful yet destructive love affair, then look no further than Burton and Taylor.
They first got to know one another in 1963, on the set of the movie Cleopatra. Taylor was 29 and already on her fourth husband.
After 11 years and 11 movies, they divorced in 1974, remarried in 1975 and divorced again in 1976. What a ride.
John Lennon and Yoko Ono
The relationship between musically gifted wife beater John Lennon, and the batshit crazy Japanese multimedia artist, singer, songwriter, and peace activist, is the stuff of legends. Like Edward and Wallis, this union ruined another ENTIRE British institution, this time, the Beatles, British music royalty.
Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn
Henry VIII was a powerful king who was completely in charge of England. Even Parliament were at his mercy.
He had everything. Apart from the ability to get a Divorce.
King Henry VIII was denied an annulment to his first wife, of 16 years, so he created AN ENTIRELY NEW RELIGION so he could marry his pregnant mistress, Anne Boleyn.
Imagine being that powerful, yet that much of a bitch ass.
Paris and Helen
When Paris, prince of Troy, saw Helen, the daughter of Queen Leda and the God Zeus, whom Aphrodite proclaimed ‘the most beautiful in the world’, he totally lost his shit. He fell in love with her.
They ran off together, causing AN ENTIRE WAR. And not just any war, the ACTUAL Trojan War. Which itself caused the 2004 movie ‘Troy’ starring Brad Pitt.
Helen will forever be regarded as ‘the face that launched a thousand ships.’ But thats just sexist nonsense. Orlando Bloom, I mean Paris, should have known to stay in his lane
Freddie Mercury and Mary Austin
My absolute favourite love story
Famously gay rock star Farrokh Bulsara, had a plethora of male partners, yet his most important love affair was a woman named Mary Austin.
Mary met Mercury in 1970 when she was a 19-year-old art student and they moved in together before he was famous.
He dedicated the song Love Of My Life to her and proposed in 1973, around the time Queen released their debut album.
After his death, Freddie left Mary half of his £75million estate, including a £25million Georgian mansion in Kensington.
Harry and Meghan
Prince Henry Charles Albert David Mountbatten Windsor and Rachel Meghan Markle are just wonderful. Thick as mince, naive, but WONDERFUL. I watched their series on Netflix and fell in love with them, they clearly love each other terribly. They have also brilliantly exposed the link between the British monarchy and the press and how dreadful both establishments are. Love transcends both of these horrific institutions and good for them.
Harry would give up anything for the love of his life. Unlike his brother who wont even give up the pegging
Love *is* all around
Jesus. OK lets wrap this up.
Love is AMAZING. Love IS all around. I’ll leave you with my favourite quote of the 2003 movie ‘Love Actually’:
"Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!"